if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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