The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
