I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
