Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
