i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You took a bar mat shot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
