So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
