Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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