One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do vagina's smell?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
