u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
