Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
