Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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