I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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