You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
