I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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