When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize