new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
