the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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