As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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