Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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