barbara walters just said penis...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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