U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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