I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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