In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bring me that man meat
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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