I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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