My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
