I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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