Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
