Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
