this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize