you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
