Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
