Someone shit on the floor
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
