he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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