i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
