(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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