Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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