His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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