Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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