Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
