I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
