im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
