operation harelip BJ is a go
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
