The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
