i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Boobs are out for the taking
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
