so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
