just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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