i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we're so committed to being not committed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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