Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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