The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
