Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
