I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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