Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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