she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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