All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
