He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
